You have that list of things you want to do, habits you want to stop, habits you want to start, people you want to move closer towards, people you want to distance from…but some of it isn’t happening, and we’re reaching that time of year when we’re identifying successes and lessons.
Below are what I believe to be the three biggest reasons why we can’t get to things on our “to do” list, from small daily tasks to more permanent habit changes.
#1 - Competing priorities
Everything’s important. I know. It’s really hard to get it all done when it’s all important. In this case we’re likely just getting to the things on the top of the list and we’ll never make our way to the bottom of the list. You may benefit mentally from creating lists that you can actually complete and goals you can achieve.
Try this - Be realistic. If you can’t do it all, you should take some things off the list and take some pressure off yourself. You may need to rethink what is most important to you now, 3 months from now, and a year from now, and reorganize your priorities accordingly. And for Pete’s sake (and your sake), give yourself some time to just BE, instead of always “doing” <check out my friend, Kristi’s ideas for Sunday Self-Care.>
#2 - Lifestyle
We often set goals or want to incorporate habits that don’t fit with our current lifestyle. If I wanted to start eating breakfast at 6am but I haven’t been out of bed before 8am in the past five years, I might have a tough time. If I wanted to start cooking my own meals every weeknight but am often on the go with little time to cook before dinner, I either need to figure out how to clear out 1-2 hours before dinner for nightly cooking, or I need to rethink that goal.
Often our goal IS to change our lifestyle. It is certainly possible, but takes a bit of discipline, and accountability. This is where I like working with my clients; figuring out their personalized strategy to achieving their goals. Lasting change takes time. The journey is valuable and the end result is worth it. As you stick with that journey of change you see yourself in the constant state of “becoming”.
Try this - Attaching habits. Identify one of your favored habits. Attach your new goal to this current habit. Already running weekday mornings and want to add a nutritious breakfast? Add it post-run. Cleaning the kitchen nightly and want to start a meditation habit? Add a 10 -minute session after you clean the kitchen. Consistently associating the new habit to the familiar habit will make it easier to incorporate into your life.
#3 - Environment
Where are you throughout the week? Who are the people you surround yourself with?What’s going on in your own head? Your physical AND mental environment have a huge impact on your ability to change, and we often move through life not really understanding the magnitude of that impact. If you want to change, grow, whatever you want to call it, you must feed yourself knowledge, variety of perspective, and space for that growth. Consider this in your usual environment of friends, work, home, conversations, and weekly rituals. This is something we should be reminded of all the time, so as not to become complacent in our usual physical AND mental environments.
Try this - Beware of social media. Know that social media algorithms know your likes and dislikes, opinions, and friends. What you see on social media is constantly tailored to REINFORCE what you already feel and believe. If your goal is to actually learn more or open your mind to something new, you likely won’t find it on social media. Also, make a point to push yourself out of your usual physical environment on a regular basis, whether daily, weekly, or monthly. If you need ideas, give me a holler.
I hope this small bit of insight is helpful. If you are hell bent on making some changes for 2022, or just have a question, comments, or questions you want answered for a future blog post, please reach out to me!
-M